Thursday, February 7, 2013

To Live a Life of Passion

     I have wanted to live this quote for the last 5 years but could not figure out how to get out of my every day rut of going to work at a job that sucked the life out of me, to make money, to exist in a marriage that was bad. For some reason turning 38 years old was my magic "time to make changes" number. It is when I started to really question the life I had made for myself. For heavens sake, what was the point of living this unhappy, unfulfilled life for another 38 years?

    So I started BIG! Really big- I told my husband I wanted a divorce. It was really scary and the most difficult thing I have ever been through. You know how some people say divorce is the easy way out? Well it's not, not easy at all. It is heart wrenching, painful, sad, overwhelming, exhausting, and out of this world scary. Yet at the same time it freed me up for joy. Joy I had never had. There was this little place in me that started to open up to the possibilities of what a joyful life could look like. It gave me the chance to actually be myself again. To reconnect with the young woman I used to be- full of life, a risk taker, traveler, lover, giver, and artist. It also freed me up to be a better mother to my children. More available to give them the love and joy they deserved too.

    It has been 5 years since my ex-husband moved out and 3 years since our divorce was final. My life continually becomes more fulfilling every day. I am not saying I haven't had difficult times that I wanted to curl up in a ball and sleep for days. I have had a lot of those. But I have less and less of them as time passes. I have more joy in my life than I did 5 years ago. All because I questioned myself if I was living up to my full joyfilled potential.

To Be Continued...........

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