Enjoying a New Life Path

Where have I been, you say?

Well, I have had a little personal drama going on. In fact, it is almost the same drama as on Jon and Kate Plus Eight.......minus 6 for me. I am actually getting reaquainted with the show. I find it facinating to be able to watch another couple manuever through divorce. I suppose it is due to my situation, but I really don't believe we have ever "seen" divorce portrayed on reality TV yet. All the multitude of couples that have divorced during or after their reality show decide not to show the fallout. I hope that we will be able to watch how Jon and Kate make the changes necessary for their family. I believe that it would be a wonderful education for the more than 50% of couples that end up divorced or individuals that may be thinking of divorce to see what another couple goes through. And how the children fare.

For me, divorce has been difficult and wonderful. I am the one that asked for it. Granted it has been looming for more than 9 years of the 10 year marriage. I can truthfully tell you I am happier than I have been in a very long time. I feel that I have found myself again. That for 9 years it was necessary to hide and protect the real me so that I wouldn't get hurt to my core. I felt smothered and depressed in my marriage. It took me so many years to make the decision because I could not decide what would be best for my little ones. I finally got so depressed in my denial (the depressed where you can't get out of bed depressed) that I woke up one morning after 3 months, and knew it was due to my marriage and that I had to get out so my girls could have a mom that was available to play, help, teach, and show them what happiness is.

It truly was the hardest and best decision I have ever made. I have not one regret. My little family of 3 girls, a dog, and a cat is now happy and functional. I am alive, awake and available for my children. The girls have noticed that I am a better mom now. They comment on how happy I am. I have lost 20 pounds since I didnt need to comfort eat anymore. I am taking ballet, gardeing, making art and enjoying every second of my life.

For a long time I thought that my marriage was my cross to bear and then I realized that Jesus already bore the cross so I didn't have to.

Long Time No Post You Say???

I bet I have lost most if not all my readers by now. I am working on something new and will be posting again soon. So please stay tuned........

http://www.flickr.com/photos/pikaluk/16288834/

Sitting eating dinner the other night Claire blurts out, "Do you know what a cow pie is mom?"
I decide to humor her and say, "No, what is a cow pie?
"It's cow poop." She says with a look of disgust on her face.
And then she adds," Who eats that?"
My husband and I get a good laugh and explain that it isn't really a cow "pie". That they call it that because cow poop sometimes looks like the shape of a pie. LOL
My kids have been coming up with some good ones lately.

A Little Bit Of Happiness in the Mail Today

These books were in my Po Box this morning when I went to check the mail? Now, at first I thought maybe I ordered them, but knowing the state of our finances right now I knew that was not the case. I then proceeded to get tears in my eyes right there in the post office with a very long line of people behind me. I am telling you that there could not have been a better time for these to arrive.

First let me explain- these were in my little wishpot that is over to the right on the side bar here. I decided to do the wishpot for myself so that I could remember things that I desired and would be able to go back and buy them when the money situation improves.

Well, the money situation has only gotten worse recently as my husband can not seem to find a job here in town. With the economy on its ear there just are not any jobs to be had in this tourist town in Oregon. So he has had to go down to California to work. This leaves me in the single mom category and it is possible that it will be a permanent solution to our troubles until the economy improves. We are one of the lucky families and I know this truly is a blessing. No matter how difficult the sacrifice, we can pay the bills etc. and I know a lot of families can not do that right now.

Unfortunately, all of these stresses have come at a very bad time for me personally as I suffer from depression and it seems that the depression decided to rear its ugly head just before the circumstances took a turn for the worst. My doctor and counselor have been working on getting my meds right but they are not right yet so I tend to be in bed a lot, unmotivated and irritated with myself because of it, which just brings me even deeper into the depression. I know that is a lot to share here, and I have been hesitant to say anything so I just have stayed away from my blog since all of this started. Not to mention that I have had no desire to do much of anything anyways.

Well, receiving these books as a gift from a secret angel was a little sunshine in my day. I do not have many bright spots right now and knowing that someone cares and would go to the trouble to make my day a happier one gives me a little more hope than I have had in quite some time. So if you are the angel and you are reading this- Thank you from the bottom of my heart. You have know idea how much I needed that bit of cheer in my mail box right now.

Merci Beaucoup Little Angel...Merci Beaucoup

While putting up our Christmas tree last week -which by the way, took us two days to find- my husband was chatting with the girls about how it is so nice that the tree grew for us and that we need to thank it for being our tree etc.... and then for some reason he asked if they thought it was a boy tree or a girl tree and my 6 year old says," Dad, it has to be a girl tree or it would have a pee pee hanging off the bottom." Geez Dad, how did you not know that? LOL

Driving In The Car Yesterday....

We were coming home from a Costco shopping trip and the girls were kidding around with Daddy that they were going to wrestle him.

Claire- "I am going to take you out little man."

Talk about getting the giggles. Where did she hear that phrase? Could it be Spongebob?

I.O.U.S.A.: Byte-Sized - The 30 Minute Version

This is a very informative video about our national debt and what it means to each and every American. The information in this documentary is a must watch whether you are Democrat or Republican. It is truth, it is fact, it is scary.

The necessary changes that need to be made will effect all of us and we must all make sacrifices in order to get our country back to the strength that we used to have before Bush got into office. Yes, I know you all know that I voted for Barack Obama and that I can't stand Bush, but this truly effects each one of us and especially our children.

Please take the time to watch it so you have the facts of the state of our national debt. So you have the facts of how our country is in jeapardy of self destruction. So when Barack Obama wants to raise your taxes you will understand why. It is for the good of our nation.

Okay, off my soap box and now on to the video with you......